Christmas, by Will Divide Jr., Age 10

A lot of people think kids my age only like Christmas because of the toys. I’m here to tell you that this is not true. I think Christmas is great because of the DVDs and gift cards I get as well. DVDs are cool because you can watch them when playing with toys, and gift cards are cool because you can use them to buy toys, DVDs or nearly anything else.

Christmas is also Jesus’ birthday. I like the way Jesus celebrates his birthday. My friend Carson had a birthday last month. My mom bought Carson this cool Lego spaceship/astronaut thing. I wanted it for myself, but Mom said I could play with it when I went to Carson’s house. I told Mom that this doesn’t help me when I want to play with the Legos and Carson is not around, but she didn’t care. On Jesus’ birthday, everybody gets presents except Jesus.

I guess you could buy a present for Jesus, but it’s not like Jesus would ever come to get it, so it would be a waste of money. I asked my mom what would happen if Jesus did show up for his birthday, and she said that the world would end. I’m glad that doesn’t happen when I show up at my own birthday.

Don’t get me started on Santa Claus. I know that he’s not real. Why would he show up at the mall in late November and December to ask kids what they want for Christmas? Wouldn’t it make more sense to do that in January so he and the elves would have more time to make presents? (He could start in February if he wanted to take a vacation in January.) Also, I know elves don’t make the toys; the Chinese do.