You may not be aware of this, but I am watching you. No, I don’t have the ability to turn on your webcam and watch you masturbate (although that would be some cool technology). Instead, I am able to track things like where you’re located, what browser or mobile device you used to view me, and what Google search term you used to find me.
By far, the two post that have generated the most traffic to Fashionable Amish are my fake news story about Adam Richman’s untimely demise and the post about the leak of the Interpol album. This has resulted in page hits from Portugal to Estonia to Pakistan to Australia to Missouri. I take pride in claiming readership in four of the seven continents.
One of the continents that has yet to sample the pleasure of Fashionable Amish is Africa. I find this unfortunate, so in hopes of being able to put another continent on the map, the following points are written to catch the eye of someone using http://www.google.co.za/. (Is it ok to make fun of Africa like this? Probably not.)
• That Charles Taylor was a big dick, wasn’t he?
• Yes, you can cure AIDDS without having to slaughter an albino person.
• Free vuvzelas!
• Man claims his Oracle Summer Retreat 2006 t-shirt is much cooler than his neighbor’s Arizona Cardinals World Champions t-shirt.
• Somalia pirate school starting soon. Sign up for the fall semester.
• Nigeria to distribute oil profits to the people!
• Nelson Mandela – still better than any leader your country has got.
• Zimbabwe claims diamonds now 38% less bloody.
• Christian Dior unveils the new dashikis for 2011.
• Gorillas are cool!
• What’s with all the goddamn flies?
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