The Community Meeting

I’m not a big fan of getting together with my neighbors to pressure the city council to remove the weeds from the baseball field. After all, what do I have in common with my neighbors other than that we live in the same area?

My isolationism changed once the burglaries started. I was watering my roses when my next-door neighbor Janet told me that she had a TV and jewelry stolen from her house. She asked if I had seen anything suspicious, but I had nothing to report. Later I noticed that my lawnmower was missing from my shed. Money has been tight lately since my wife got laid off, so I was really upset.

While walking the dog, I saw a sign posted in the neighborhood about a meeting to organize a neighborhood watch group. I decided to attend.

The meeting was at the home of the Camerons, a couple I’d never met. We sat on folded chairs in the living room, eating lemon squares and drinking coffee. A couple of cops were there as well. The guy sitting next to me whispered to me, “That TV looks exactly like the one I had stolen from me. It even has the same scuff mark in the corner.” My next-door neighbor Janet overheard us and said loudly, “Ms. Cameron is wearing my broach that was stolen.” One of the cops said, “Are you serious?” Janet was.

The Camerons were arrested that day with over $50,000 worth of stolen merchandise on their property, including my now redundant lawn mower. I have to give them some credit though. It takes gigantic balls to steal from your neighbors and then have everyone over to your home to view your newfound booty. That or tiny brains. One or the other.