Craigslist ad: M4W - I’m a catch – 35, PDX

At least my mom says that I am a catch. She has refined tastes so I defer to her judgment on these things. She prefers the Pizza Hut lunch buffet over McDonalds’ combo lunch. That’s just how sophisticated she is. Although I do not work, it’s only because I have not been hired at my desired profession – video game tester. I live with a roommate. My roommate is my mom. It’s not that I couldn’t live with someone else; it’s just that I haven’t found a roommate as good as my mom. If I could find a roommate that would make me food, clean my room, and do my laundry, I’d probably live with that person, if my mom were ok with it. My hobbies include World of Warcraft, eating, watching professional wrestling, masturbating, and drinking vodka in my room until I pass out (although not all of those things at the same time. Ha ha!). I know that looks are important to some women, and I don’t disappoint in that department. I’m 5’5”, weigh just over 200 lbs., and although I don’t have a lot of hair on my head, I make up for it by keeping the remaining hair long.

I’m looking for a woman under 25, at least 5’9”, under 115 lbs., with blond hair and at least a C breast cup. She should be able to pay for stuff, because I can’t. Eye color unimportant.