Everyone has one special ability

In the movie Boogie Nights, Mark Wahlberg’s character determines that everyone has one special ability. For him, it was sex. For James Cameron, it’s directing movies that are ridiculously expensive to make but break box office records. For 19 year-old Adam Forrester of St. Charles, Missouri, it’s the ability to cook McDonald’s hamburgers faster than anyone in the world. For David Beckham, it’s the ability to be the perfect male model. (His soccer skills are merely a nice bonus). I too have a special ability; however, unlike James Cameron’s ability to generate millions of dollars or even Adam Forrester’s ability to make $7.45 per hour, my ability is quite worthless.

You see, I can look at any inflatable object and tell you exactly how many pounds of air pressure are in it, within 1 PSI. It’s no fun having your special ability trumped by a $3 impulse buy at the car wash. Friends generally don’t like it when you tell them that the tires on their bicycle are under-inflated. I can’t even watch the NBA any more, what with their flagrant disregard for the rules by consistently over-inflating the basketballs. Luckily for me, I make a passable high school history teacher; otherwise, you might see me holding a sign on the highway exit ramp: “Will determine your car’s correct tire pressure for food.”