Monday, July 12, 2010

Begging Made Easy

It’s difficult to panhandle for money. Most people aren’t willing to give their hard earned money to some stranger who could use it for illicit purposes. You have to endure all sorts of weather, and standing on your feet for hours on end can be terribly uncomfortable.

If you are going to ask strangers for money, you should maximize the amount of money that you make while doing it. Most panhandlers know this, but they still produce handwritten signs on cardboard. These signs are often difficult to read from passing cars, and the messages on the signs are often ignored. People that would be willing to give panhandlers money just pass by, meaning less beer, smack, or tinfoil hats for the hardworking panhandler.

That’s where we come in. At Maximo Consulting, we have the tools and know-how to get the most money out of strangers desperate to feel good about themselves. Step into one of our offices, and a Maximo representative will greet you immediately. After a short consultation, we’ll tell you where to stand, what to wear, and most importantly, provide you with a sign that will get people lining up to give you money. Our signs are professional, glossy, and use big, bright letters that will appeal to your target audience. (We even offer signs with flashing lights.) In addition, our signs have messages that resonate with people in your area – snarky comments for hipster neighborhoods and religious messages for churchy neighborhoods.

When your panhandling day is done, our representatives will turn your spare change into folding money, which most retailers prefer. All we require is 20% cut of your earnings.

Whether you’re mentally ill, addicted to drugs and alcohol, or just plain down on your luck, Maximo Consulting can help you maximize the money you earn.

1 comment:

  1. It's funny you blogged about this. I've been saying for some time that I thought this whole panhandling thing was organized. It totally makes sense, too. Different people using the same sign at different parts of town or at different times of day. I think this is seriously happening.