Monday, July 19, 2010

The Lie

It was a little lie. Granted, it was stupid for me to tell it, but I didn’t think I would ever be called on it. I also didn’t think I’d have to talk to the police.

It started like many lies do, to impress the opposite sex. In this case, I was trying to impress my very attractive co-worker Emily. She and I work the same shift, and our breaks are at the same time. We were talking about the movie Life Is Beautiful, when Emily mentioned that she finds the Italian language to be sexy. I told her that I speak Italian, which made her eyes light up excitedly. I don’t speak Italian, so I sounded out a fractured mismatch of English and Spanish with a few “O”s at the end of words. The joy in her face made the lie worth it, or so I thought.

Last Tuesday I overheard, Emily say that she couldn’t understand the caller and she would transfer the call. “Dan, can you take this? I think it’s s an Italian speaker,” Emily asked me. I couldn’t understand anything the caller said either. After pretending to talk to him for a couple of minutes, I hung up and told Emily that he just needed an extra TV hooked up.

The caller was actually a recently-arrived undocumented immigrant from Brazil (speaking Portuguese, but that’s irrelevant). Apparently, two men in his shack lay dying from ingesting some chemical at work. Seeking help, the man called the only number he could find, which was our 800 number.

Now Emily knows I lied, two men are dead, and I have to speak to cops today at work. I’ll never lie again, unless it gets Emily to see me outside of work.

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