Killer App

One of the greatest innovations of new smart phone technology is the “app.” It allows you to customize your phone with on the software that you feel is useful to you. Even better, software developers are coming up with mew apps all of the time, so there’s always potential something new and great your phone can be doing.

About a week ago, I discovered the best app ever. It’s called “Subtexting,” and is used in conjunction with the texting functionality already built into my phone. Here’s an example of how it works, as demonstrated by a text conversation I had with my girlfriend Heather.

Will: Do you want to go out to dinner tonight? I have a taste for Mexican.

Heather: I’m not really hungry right now. I may warm some soup later.
Subtext: I’d like to go out to dinner with you, but only if you pay.

Or here’s another example of “Subtexting” working its genius, shown in a conversation I had with my mom Jane.

Will: Did you get the card I sent you for your birthday?

Jane: Yes Will, it was lovely.
Subtext: It bothers me that my relationship with you has devolved into birthday cards and text messages, but I’m hoping for grandkids someday.

This is a conversation I had with my boss Gary.

Will: I emailed you the 3rd quarter report.

Gary: Thanks Will. I’ll read it when I’m back in the office.
Subtext: I can’t be bothered to read my underling’s drivel, but I’ll take credit for it if my boss likes it.

Here’s one from my pot dealer Chris.

Will: Is now a good time for a visit?

Chris: Still at work. Come over in two hours?
Subtext: I’m almost through with Disc 3 of Season 2 of The Office. You can wait.