If you’ve never had the privilege of cleaning a men’s bathroom, consider yourself lucky. Men are naturally smelly, and have little regard for cleanliness. In high-traffic bathrooms, the battle to maintain cleanliness is especially important. Beyond the usual, “Who smeared shit all over the walls and toilet seat?” nonsense, cleaning staff have to be concerned about keeping frequently-used urinals clean.
Urinal manufacturers are aware of the need to maintain cleanliness. One of the primary defilers of the urinal is backsplash. The stream of urine hitting the urinal splashes in all different directions, getting droplets of piss on the edges and outer walls of the urinal (and also the man peeing and possibly the guys peeing next to him). So engineers developed the perfect urinal to reduce backsplash. The only problem is that bathroom patrons were offended. It seems that the best design for reducing backsplash is to have a large bowl at the bottom and a large semi-cylinder sticking up from it. Essentially, the perfect urinal looks like a giant, hollowed-out penis and testicles. Men didn’t want to pee in it.
The engineers for the urinal manufacturers went back to the drawing board. This time, they consulted behavioral psychologists to assist in the battle against backsplash. They realized that they could reduce backsplash by having men properly aim their urine stream not at the urinal cake or little puddle of water but at the upper part of the urinal. The psychologists determined that the best way to get men to aim properly was to put a drawing of a housefly at the sweet spot. A dot, bull’s-eye, or sign explaining the process were not as effective as appealing to men’s sadistic nature, the psychologists determined.
A man with his dick in his hands is a dangerous, overly-sensitive, pathetic creature.
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