The Worst Sin

In my long tenure as a blogger on these fine internets, I’ve been accused of many things, mostly that I am not funny. I get it. Many people took Jonathan Swift’s satire seriously and pilloried him for it. Mark Twain wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea. Richard Pryor rubbed a few people the wrong way. I can’t please everyone.

This latest piece of criticism, however, was particularly painful to read.

Dear Mr. Divide,

I know that journalistic standards and integrity on the internet are close to non-existent, but I still believe that anyone with a modicum of decency should be appalled by your recent work. I am a journalism graduate student who is required by my professors to post my work on the internet. I have no problem with people linking my work in their blogs, but you have taken my words and put them unattributed under your byline.

Here’s what I wrote in a July 22 news story.

As a result of the sentence Mr. Bernoulli is likely to receive for embezzlement, police have decided not to pursue forgery charges.

Here’s what you wrote on September 29.

Police have decided not…

I hope as a person of honor, you refrain from plagiarizing mine or anybody’s work ever again.

Sincerely,

Jim Claybourn

I’m afraid Mr. Claybourn is right. I looked over more of my blog posts and found I do this regularly. For example, on August 11, I wrote “I was bewildered until I remembered,” which I apparently ripped off of this post about kayaking. On May 31, I said, “A trip to the hardware store netted,” which I swiped from this poor guy’s blog.

From now on, I will only write a jumble of words in Dadaist nonsense, which I hope will truly qualify as original content.