There’s a simple rule when it comes to driving – all drivers suck except for me. I’ve tried leading by example, following all traffic laws (except the stupid ones that don’t hurt anyone when violated), and exercising the correct social norms such as letting someone into my lane unless I’m in a big rush. Despite the shining example I’ve set, people continue to drive as though they just left a three-day all-you-can-snort party at Paris Hilton’s condo.
How else can I get people to drive better? I tried putting up a sign in my neighborhood that said “Drive Better for Fuck’s Sake,” but someone took it down. My homemade speed bumps ended up getting crushed under the weight of cars. (Too bad my budget only allowed me to buy cardboard as building materials for the speed bumps.)
Then there’s the least effective method of all, and it’s one I’m ashamed to admit that I used recently. I was at a suburban shopping strip where the “roads” go in odd directions, and often the stop signs are a yellow painted word on the pavement. There was a 4-way stop, and the car to my left stopped a good five feet before the yellow line, so I went through the intersection. As I started to go, the other driver went as well. I let the other driver through while complaining and pointing to the yellow line that she missed. Then I thought, “What is this accomplishing?” It’s not like she can hear me, and if she could, she’d still think she was right.
From now on, I vow not to yell at other drivers. No, fuck that. I’m getting a microphone and external speaker for my car. Other drivers need to know that they suck.
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