Thursday, September 2, 2010

I Am Not a Serial Killer

If you want a cross section of what’s popular in entertainment, check out the original programming on the premium cable channels. People are interested in vampires (HBO’s “True Blood”), they are fascinated with pot (Showtime’s “Weeds”), and they also seem to like women who rebel against their place in society (Showtime’s “Weeds,” The Big C,” “Nurse Jackie,” “United States of Tara” among others).

Another popular theme in entertainment, as demonstrated by premium cable, is serial killers, as evidenced by Showtime’s “Dexter.” The premise of the show is that Dexter’s father recognized he would be a serial killer, so his father trained Dexter to be a serial killer of righteousness.

Good dramas make you question whether you are like the deviant protagonist. For example, after watching “The L Word,” I thought about if I were a lesbian or not. (I do have a thing for women, but my genitals are too external to be a lesbian.)

I do know though that I could never be a serial killer. Researchers say that there are three characteristics common to most serial killers. As children, they: wet their bed, started fires, and tortured small animals.

I never wet the bed or started fires. And I would never hurt an animal. Some kids used magnifying glasses to harness the sun’s energy to fry ants. I could never even step on one. I had visions of a crying ant family, as they patriarch failed to return home after a day of foraging. The lead story on the ant news that evening would be the continuing violence against ants by adolescent humans, with a thorough recounting of all the comrades that had lost their lives to size-4 Nikes.

I guess this makes me a freak. But at least I am not a serial killer.

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