Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Response to My Craigslist Ad

Recently, a commenter recommended that I put my post requesting a team of graduate students on Craigslist. Knowing good advice when I see it, I posted an ad in the Jobs – Writing/Editing section and was surprised by the volume of response that I received. Here’s a small sample.

“I am a grad student at PSU and have two friends also enrolled. Collectively, we are looking for a good internship. One of my friends is a very attractive woman. My only concern is that we do not have any Asians in the group. I do have short, black hair and maintain a deep tan year round. If I promise to squint a lot, would you be willing to consider us?”

“Hey man. You want to buy some pot? I got the shit. Sour diesel grown hydroponic for Eugene. Just give me a call at [redacted].”

“You are a racist, sexist asshole. Requesting women or Asian people specifically for a job is illegal. It’s so frustrating that white men like me get discriminated against all the time.”

“Would you rather have more than enough to get the job done or fall short? Our methods are guaranteed to increase your penis size 1-3 inches.”

“I’m an assistant professor of sociology from the University of Portland. Although I do not work with graduate students, I would be willing to consider letting an undergrad intern with you. I think letting a student observe how a degenerate loser manages to live day-to-day would make for a good sociological research study.”

“How is it possible that you’re unemployed when the demand in the job market is so high for porn enthusiasts and pot smokers. Do you smell or something?”

“That’s funny. I’m going to recommend you for ‘Best of Craigslist.’ For me to poop on!”

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