Why This Blog Post Sucks

It’s not easy coming up with new ideas to write about in this blog. Sometimes it can take me hours of web surfing to come up with some idea that I think would make for good blog fodder. Other times I come up with three good ideas in a day.

Last Friday was a struggle, but I finally came up with an idea that was suitable and posted it mere minutes before my self-imposed noon Pacific Time deadline. Satisfied with myself, I went about the rest of my day which involved masturbating, smoking pot, and drinking more whiskey than the USDA would recommend for a family of four for a month.

It was while drinking and smoking that I came up with the most brilliant idea for a blog post yet. The post was to be told from the perspective of a woman who has some biting and insightful things to say about male/female relationships. I shared this with my girlfriend, and she agreed that it would make perhaps the best Fashionable Amish entry yet, concluding with, “you’re so funny Will. I love you.” (I then slapped her firmly on the ass, which is my way of showing affection.)

Then, after drunkenly attempting fornication with my girlfriend which resulted in something resembling two recent stroke victims getting into a slap fight, I passed out in bed. Now, several days later, neither she nor I can remember the subject of what would have been the greatest blog post ever.

Sometimes I think I would be better at doing things if I would stop drinking. Then I worry that I would cease to be interesting if I were sober all the time. If drinking is my passport to being witty and fun, then get me on that plane, drink in hand.