Treatments for male maladies advertised in infomercials and internet ads all have something in common – they are designed to help you get laid. They also share another thing in common – they won’t actually get you laid. You can be thin, have hair like Rod Blagojevich, and have a penis as big as a pornstar, and still spend your evenings alone.
Why? At Timony Industries, we have proven that unlike men, women are much more driven by personality than physical appearance. Your problem isn’t that your fat, bald, and have a baby’s thumb between your legs; it’s that you’re uninteresting, anxious, and awkward. Our researchers have determined that women go for the relaxed and affable over the clumsy and inept every time.
How can you go from celibate to playboy? Simple use Timony Industries patented Personal Enricher, and watch the women come flocking. Every four ounce bottle of Personal Enricher is packed full of concentrated, high quality grain alcohol. This ingredient helps melt away inhibitions, letting your funny and charismatic inner self shine through. Women will are naturally drawn to confidence and charm. You’ll never go to bed lonely again.
Our lawyers tell us that we need to disclose that Timony’s Personal Enricher will not work for every man. In some cases, men have become morose, belligerent, or obnoxious after using the product. If you’re one of the unfortunate few affected in this way, no worries. The active ingredient in Personal Enricher will ensure that if your evening ends in frustration, you will not care.
Don’t waste money on Jergens and Kleenex. Get Timony Industries Personal Enhancer and have the sex life you deserve.
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