Monday, May 10, 2010

The Alien Abduction

I consider myself to be a skeptic. If people have encountered alien life forms, where’s the proof? Why don’t we have samples of alien DNA, alien technology, or even a cell phone picture or two of an alien? Then I was abducted by aliens, and my views changed.

My wife was on business in Houston last week, so I took the alone time as an opportunity to try one of those Vietnamese restaurants on SE 82nd that she would never dare go to. The restaurant was mostly empty, so it didn’t surprise me that the host seemed very happy to see a paying customer. In his broken English, he offered me a free appetizer. I ate some of it, but it tasted chemically, kind of like fishy hairspray.

It was while I was eating Phở soup that everything went white. I felt forces tugging at me, but I couldn’t see them. Although I tried to resist, my body rapidly lost strength. I don’t remember what happened next.

I woke up in a steamy, smelly room with a lot of metallic instruments around. I couldn’t see or feel much, but I could hear the aliens speaking in a strange language. There was one alien close to me grunting and panting. In the distance, I could hear a sizzling noise that I assumed to be the alien spaceship engine. The aliens obviously recognized my burgeoning consciousness, because there was a lot of commotion, something poked me, and I lost consciousness again.

When I awoke, I was propped up against a dumpster behind a hot dog place a few blocks from the restaurant. Despite feeling hung over and having a sore behind from where the aliens probed me, I was alive and healthy.

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