Seinfeld was one of those shows that inspired imitation. In addition to the countless TV shows that stole the idea of doing “nothing,.” some members of the viewing public have taken to imitating Seinfeld episodes in their regular life. Throughout the world, people actually celebrate Festivus. There must be countless people who have made masturbatory-avoidance wagers among friends. Phrases like “no soup for you,” “sponge-worthy,” “yadda yadda,” and “I haven’t got a square to spare” have become fixtures of English vernacular.
The Seinfeld-ism that is easily the most tempting to imitate is the one where George, in an attempt to change his sorry life, does the opposite of what he would normally do. Of course, this tact is successful – the sexy woman agrees to date him, and George gets a job with the Yankees.
The problem with trying to do the opposite of what you normally do in everyday situations is that your life is not scripted by professional comedic writers. Here are some things that would be detrimental for you if you did the opposite of them.
• If I get pulled over, I am deferential and don’t tell the cop to fuck off and leave me alone.
• When I see a woman with a really great ass, I refrain from giving it a good squeeze.
• Even though the explosion would be the coolest thing I’ve ever seen, I try not to smoke at gas stations.
• Usually, if I’m in an elevator and have to fart, I wait until I reach my destination.
• When Jay Cutler throws an interception in the red zone, it takes all of my strength not to throw my beer at the TV.
• Normally, when I have to take a dump, I go to the bathroom.