Friday, April 16, 2010

Ape Man Cometh

I’ve been going out with Tammy for a couple of months now, and I think she likes me. She’s spent the night at my apartment several times, and I’ve even met her brother and cousin who live in town.

Before dating Tammy, I was on a long celibacy streak. After my last relationship three years ago, I needed some time to work through some issues. The long streak of celibacy has me worried for our sex life. It’s not as though I’ve forgotten how to have sex; my problem is that I can only last three minutes before I have to come. Despite all the foreplay in the world, three minutes isn’t long enough for Tammy to orgasm. I don’t have the courage to talk to her about it, but I worry that she’ll break up with me, ending an otherwise rewarding relationship.

Last night I came up with a solution. We were having sex with me on top. Although all of the lights were out, there was still enough light from the power strip and monitor indicator so that it wasn’t pitch black. I noticed my reflection on the back wall. It reminded me of watching Bonobo chimps having sex on the Discovery Channel. Chimps seem to have no problems with their sexual performance. That night I decided, under cloak of darkness while sexually aroused, I was no longer three-minute Pete; I became Ape Man, the unstoppable sex machine. We went at it for 45 minutes, with Tammy having orgasm after orgasm. When I left her apartment, Tammy was a heaving lump of heavy breathing and unintelligible moans.

I think Tammy and I will be fine, provided that we only have sex in the dark.

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