Writing a blog is a great experience. For one thing, all the typing involved in creating the blog has strengthened my fingers, which I’ve really come to appreciate when masturbating. In addition, all of my followers have made me something of a celebrity, which is a sure sign of having achieved the American dream.
Unfortunately, blogging isn’t the same as it was in the last decade. Back then, you could toss off a blog or two a week for a couple of months and then retire to a nice bungalow in Martha’s Vineyard. Things are more competitive today. It’s getting harder to make ends meet from blog money alone. Somehow I need to supplement my income. Luckily in American society, if you’re a celebrity, you can always leverage your celebrity for some cash.
Last week, I had an interview with the producers of The Surreal Life. I explained to them that I have a notorious blog, with readership approaching double digits. My blog is read as far north as Vancouver (Washington) and as far east as Peoria (Arizona). That’s a sizeable swatch of the country hungry for all things Will Divide. Rhea Perlman and Nancy Kerrigan would be in awe of my presence in the Surreal Life house. Despite my obvious overwhelming credentials, the producers remained unconvinced. My pitch for a show where hoochies make fools of themselves in an attempt to date me fell on deaf ears as well.
So I implore you, all eight followers of this blog, to write the producers of The Surreal Life, Tell them that you want Will Divide on TV. After all, I need an in ground swimming pool for my backyard.
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