Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Camping Nightmares

I went camping with Shannon and my dog Alfie last weekend. On Saturday, we started with a brisk hike along the river. By the time we were finished, Shannon and I were both pretty tired, so we went back to the campsite to rest and make some lunch. Nothing goes better with ham sandwiches than beer, so we had one. Then we decided that if were drinking beer, we might as well do a shot or two of Jameson. Four beers and six shots later, lunch was finished.

Shannon was too drunk to hike, so we decided to retreat to the tent and engage in some afternoon delight. My tent is large, so we figured sex would be inconspicuous. I chained Alfie outside, and Shannon and I had a drunken fuck.

We’d been doing it for a while when I saw the shadow of what looked like an opossum pass by our tent. Alfie saw the critter too, and darted towards it, barking loudly and rapidly. Alfie’s sudden movement snapped one of the tent poles, causing the tent to cave in. Panicked, I pulled out of Shannon in a misguided attempt to fix the ten from the inside. My efforts caused the entire tent to collapse. I felt around for clothes, but all I could feel was tent canvas and occasionally the naked flesh of a giggling Shannon.

I decided that I would need to leave the tent and discreetly get some clothes from the car. As I poked my head out of the area that used to be the door of the tent, I could see a Boy Scout from the next campsite filming the incident with his iPhone. You can see the whole thing on Youtube. I’d find it all funny if it didn’t happen to me.

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