Friday, June 25, 2010

Will Divide Tries to Get in Trouble

Say you have a blog, and you write perverted, disgusting, and preposterous (but compelling) stuff that a few people read. Harmless fun, right? Well, it turns out that some prominent people (or their publicists or employees) have programs that traverse the internet looking for references to themselves. If they find something disagreeable, they (or their lawyers or their military) may take actions to edit or remove the offending information, even if the blog clearly states that it is a work of fiction.

To me, this sounds like a great opportunity for mischief. So today, I am going to attempt to get a bunch of “Cease and Desist” letters. If I’m lucky, I may even end up on a government watch list.

• Here’s a nude picture of ESPN personality Erin Andrews.
• I’m a member of the Earth Liberation Front. Your SUV is merely fodder for my firebomb!
• Michael Jordan once killed a woman in a Tampa hotel. He paid the concierge and bellhop $100,000 apiece to destroy the evidence and keep the secret.
• I’m selling genuine Cuban cigars over the internet.
• My mom thought I was going to summer camp, but it was actually an al Qaeda training facility in Afghanistan. I have the pictures to prove it.
• Rush Limbaugh raped one of my best friends in 2007. She’s willing to tell her story to the police.
• I have Blu-Ray quality copies of Toy Story 3 that I’m selling for $4.
• A Ukrainian syndicate has paid off the referees at the World Cup. Forward me $2000 (€1630), and I will reveal the winners to you.
• Former Idaho Republican Senator Larry Craig liked to solicit sex with random men in bathrooms. (Oh wait. That’s true. Never mind.)

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