Announcer: If it seems as though al-Qaida has been quiet lately, some members of US intelligence think that this is expected. NPR’s Janet Reiser has the story.
Janet Reiser: Although we’ve seen some terrorist activities attempted by lone gunmen on Western targets, it has been over six years since al-Qaida has had a successful attack. Some military experts attribute this to the success of the anti-terrorist campaign of the US. Others claim that al-Qaida has evolved into a less centralized operation. Now the US Army’s secret Counter-Terrorism Intelligence Division or CTID is taking credit.
Anonymous Source: The CTID was set up as the Army’s attempt to think outside of the box. Rather than fill the group with military experts, the CTID contains intellectuals and artists in an attempt to find new and novel ways to bring down al-Qaida’s leadership….
JR: …stated a CTID member who asked that his name not be revealed. The CTID launched Operation Imagine after the Madrid train bombings in 2004 The CTID member we spoke to believes that Operation Imagine is responsible for preventing further attacks.
AS: One member saw the John Lennon documentary “Imagine” where Lennon claims he was inspired to write “Imagine” after having a good bowel movement that day. Intelligence shows that al-Qaida’s leadership suffers from chronic diarrhea from drinking untreated water in the tribal regions of Pakistan. Since 2004, we have been able to infiltrate their food supply and fortify it with fiber. We believe that improved bowel movements have made al-Qaida less ornery thereby making them less likely to strike at Western targets.
JR: When asked why the CTID didn’t just poison al-Qaida’s food, the source said that the CTID does not condone murder. The CTID is currently working to weaken North Korean leader Kim Jong-Il. Janet Reiser, NPR news.
No comments:
Post a Comment