You know what the problem of the Republican Party is? It’s people failing to live up to their convictions. How can you claim high moral ground, Mr. South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford and then go on secret vacations to see your mistress? Or what about all the so called “fiscal conservative” Republicans that voted for the bank bailout? If you believe in capitalism, then you have to let failing businesses FAIL.
The one that gets me the most lately is everyone going off on “traditional marriage.” Sure, traditional marriage means a man and a woman, so gay marriage and marriage to baboons is out of the question. Still, how can you claim the mantle of traditional marriage when you just had your fourth, Mr. Rush Limbaugh? I don’t see anywhere in history where traditional marriage meant you get the chance to marry someone younger every 10 years or so.
I’m unmarried right now, but I know when I do get married, it will be a traditional marriage. For example, marrying for love doesn’t reflect what marriage was throughout most of human history. When I get married, I’m going to have a local mystic, or “matchmaker” find my bride for me. If I choose the mystic well, I should have a bride who is 14 and a virgin. Also, her parents will accumulate a good portion of their wealth to give to me as a dowry. On our wedding night, the Lord of the kingdom will have the first blood of her virginity before I get my crack. Since there aren’t Lords in American society, I’m thinking of asking the mayor to do it.
Some people like to talk about traditional marriage, but I intend to put my beliefs into practice.