On Tuesday at 7:00 PM Eastern on the Science Channel, we present you the next episode of “Beyond the Limits of Man.” This week’s episode will feature the story of Mr. Roland Havelford of Medford, Oregon. Mr. Havelford lives a normal life. He has a wife and two kids, works as a comptroller for Pacific Gas and Electric, and spends his free time playing shuffleboard and making model trains.
Mr. Havelford is able to live the American dream despite having a unique condition. Like the autistic “idiot savant,” Mr. Havelford’s condition has what some people might consider beneficial qualities.
“A genetic defect in the patient’s DNA produces copious amounts of the lysistic-3 protein enzyme in his digestive system,” Dr. Ellen Wahl, research physician at Oregon Health and Sciences University, explained. “As a result, the patient processes food more efficiently and with byproducts that are nearly unprecedented in the medical literature. We hope that by studying the patient, we may make medical breakthroughs that can benefit all of mankind.”
Mr. Havelford suffers from Fecal Non-mephitis Syndrome, or FNS. In layman’s terms, FNS means that Mr. Havelford’s shit don’t stink.
Despite having bowel movements that observers have described as smelling faintly like freshly baked sugar cookies even after eating a large meal of corned beef and cabbage, Mr. Havelford claims not to have an inflated sense of himself. His “My Child is an Honor Role Student at Medford High” bumper sticker belies this fact.
In a special TV first, for this episode of “Beyond the Limits of Man” you can pick up a free special kit at any local Wal-Mart or Target store. The kit contains a scratch and sniff card, allowing you to compare the odor of Mr. Havelford’s feces to that of a normal person.
We hope you tune in.
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