Strip clubs are very popular in Portland, and my personal favorite is DV8. They have great music, a laid back atmosphere, and of course the hottest chicks not in a Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition. I go at least three times per week and spend more money there than I do on rent and car payments combined.
Around 2003 this one chick started stripping there that blew my mind. In addition to being unbelievable hot with large, real tits and the cutest heart-shaped ass, she could also dance. We talked a lot, and I found out that her real name is Edna. One day Edna started to do this incredible dance to an R&B song that was unfamiliar to me. She told me that her boyfriend was a musician and producer, and that they recorded some songs together. The fact that Edna was dancing to her own music made her even more enthusiastic. I must have spent $300 that night, I was so impressed.
In June of 2005, Edna did not show up for her usual Tuesday evening shift. She didn’t turn up for her Thursday or Sunday shifts either. I asked the owner and some of the other dancers, but no one knew what happened to her. I was devastated.
In the summer of 2006, I was sitting in DV8 drinking a vodka and Red Bull and admiring the dancers, when I heard the DJ spin Justin Timberlake’s “Sexyback.” My heart began to race, since “Sexy” was Edna’s stripper name. Unfortunately, instead of Enda coming out to strip, it was that skank Charlotte again. No one has heard from Edna since 2005.
Thanks a lot Justin Timberlake for getting my hopes up. Fucking liar.
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