Jeffery Dahmer was a jerk. He killed 17 people. Who does that other than jerks? Not only did Dahmer kill people, sometimes he ate them as if they were made of hamburgers. You shouldn’t eat people, only animals. You shouldn’t eat endangered species either, so in addition to people, you eat shouldn’t panda bears. Also, please don’t eat my cat Fluffy.
Dahmer killed people by convincing them to come to his house and then killing them. Once, I had my friend Timmy over. I just got Mario Kart for the Wii and wanted to play it with him. Timmy wanted to be Luigi, but I’m always Luigi. I was so mad, I could kill Timmy. But I didn’t kill Timmy. Know why? I’m not a jerk like Jeffery Dahmer.
According to some of Dahmer’s neighbors, his home smelled really bad, what with the dead people and all. My Mom took me to Milwaukee last year. Milwaukee smells really, really bad, so I don’t know how any of his neighbors could say that about Dahmer’s apartment.
When I was in Milwaukee, my Mom bought me a snow globe as a souvenir. You shake it up, and little white spots float to the bottom over the buildings and stadiums of Milwaukee. After Jeffery Dahmer killed a guy, he kept the guy’s skull as a souvenir. Thinking about having a skull for a souvenir makes my snow globe seem crappy. Mom is too cheap to ever buy me anything good.
In conclusion, Jeffery Dahmer was a jerk. It’s no wonder he got killed in prison. My Mom’s new boyfriend Ted said that Dahmer was, “a punk bitch that deserved to die.” I always thought a punk bitch was a female dog with a mohawk, but maybe Ted is right.
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